The Story of Moms

There is so much to say about this woman, my mother. Her early childhood was tragic and lacking in every form of normality. From her own dad being a real bastard and something else to her, and her getting married to an older man (my dad) just to escape from her misery.

My mother is a complex person yet simple minded, and even though i really don't care for her immature self-righteous and selfish attitude towards my sister (which i'm still trying to understand), i need to step way back and see the whole picture to really figure out who and what my mom is about and what makes her who she is today.
When i do this i will know and understand her much better. I can see in her eyes at times, a frightened lil girl, a sad lil girl, someone who seems to be looking out the window watching other children play and go to school like everyone else...but not in her case. It really is tragic to even think about.
My mother, who missed out on all the things a child should experience in life never had the chance.
When her mom passed away her dad gave up her brothers and sisters so he wouldn't have to deal with them on his own. She found herself carring for her 5 sibblings. No time for play only work and cleaning and then ripped apart split up and separated from the other 3. There was Eddie,Tony, Esther, Irene, Henry and herself being the oldest.This changed everything!
No longer would she be close to her family. It was to be only the three of them now. Both groups were handed from foster family to foster family just after their aunt died. They (3) were with her up til then.
There was this one aunt who was a very mean and greedy person, and then there was a nice one...her sister. What a contrast they were.
This was also durning the time of the great "Depression" and it also had a big impact on how she is to this day and how she rationalizes. She remembers the lines, the rations, the lights going out at night was a must due to the city wide alert that they could be attacked by Japanese planes. It was a very tramatic time for all people.
Unfortunately she wasn't able to continue her schooling either, being home with the younger ones and working whenever possible.

Today, there is food stashed here and there or in the closet or where-ever. Alot are can foods or dry foods. Clothes are treated the same, never to be worn. She has this thing about buying more food than she needs and ironically alot of times it will go to waste in the frig. or freezer. It doesn't make any sense! But she doesn't see that, as long as there is food is all that matters.

Whenever i take her out to do something fun, she is happy. She is like a little girl who finally got a chance to "have some fun".

Now my sister and her don't get along and i'm still trying to figure that out. I know mom says that my sister just doesn't let her be herself and dress her own outdated way. Sis tries to change her so to be more up to date. That is a big part of the problem, but i know theres alot more to that and it goes way way back to how they got along when she was younger up to when my sis got pregnant and mom kicked her to the curb. My sister was not a tramp either but mom treated her like she was and in a sense rejected her as her own. Now sis was dad's girl and i was moms. I got treated good and sis didn't, being independant now and 7 years older than me. My sister married her boyfriend and they lived like any other normal couple with a kid.
Back to mom...
There is so much to say, i'll have to think about it